TNA Impact Report – 8/4/16
Drew Galloway is backstage after last week’s main event, and says that EC3 screwed another one up for him, and he’d say what he wants to do to EC3, but he doesn’t want it to be used as evidence.
Jeremy Borash is in the ring with Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett, who will face off in the finals of the Bound For Glory Playoffs tonight. Bennett says he had the toughest road to the finals: he beat Jeff Hardy, he beat Drew Galloway…well, actually EC3 helped him beat Drew Galloway, and if he really wanted to hit Drew with a kendo stick, he just had to ask because he would have handed it to him. EC3 won’t be John Wayne running off into the sunset, because Bennett did what nobody else could when he beat the unbeatable and pinned Ethan Carter III, because he is the Miracle. EC3 says everything about Mike Bennett angers him, and it’s taking everything he’s got not to knock him out. Bennett beat him because of his talent, but EC3 won at Slammiversary, and tonight they’ll find out who truly is Bound For Glory. The fans seem to think it’s EC3, and Bennett says that anything EC3 can do, he can do better, and after he beats EC3, he’ll go on to win the TNA World Title less than a year after he got here. It took EC3 two years to do it, and EC3 will always be second best, he’ll be the Peyton Manning to his Tom Brady. EC3 says he can bring whoever he wants to ringside because he’s becoming the #1 contender tonight, he becomes the TNA World Champion at Bound For Glory, and there’s nothnig anyone can do about it. Bennett says it’ll be man-to-man tonight, but if EC3 loses focus for a second, he is gonna lose. Moose’s music hits, and he comes out to the top of the ramp to distract EC3 so Bennett can attack him from behind. Bennett and Moose double team EC3, and Moose plants EC3 in the mat with a super sky high.
Eli Drake says lots of people are here making noise, but none of them are the King of the Mountain Champion, and none of them are Eli Drake.
We see a recap of last week when we saw the beginning of Rosemary’s origin story and when she met Montgomery the talking brother tree and started casting evil spells. We’ll find out what happened with that SOB Johnny later on, but first it’s time for our opening match!
King of the Mountain Title Match: Eli Drake vs James Storm
They start brawling before the bell, and Drake gets the upper hand and starts putting the boots to Storm. Storm is in peril for a few minutes before mounting the fiery babyface comeback, hitting a leaping enziguiri from the apron and a running neckbreaker for 2. Drake escapes the Eye of the Storm, but Storm hits a spinebuster for 2. Drake catches Storm going up top, and hits a run-up superplex, then suplexes Storm up and plants him with a powerslam for 2. Drake goes to hit Storm with the belt, the referee stops him, and Storm hits the Eye of the Storm for 2. Drake takes a sip of Storm’s beer and spits it at Storm, Storm ducks and Drake spews in the referee’s eyes. Drake hits Storm with the belt and makes a cover as the referee’s vision returns, but Storm kicks out at 2. They block each other’s finishers, Drake gets knocked out to the apron, springboards back in, and dives right into the Last Call, and Storm covers for the win.
Winner and NEW King of the Mountain Champion: James Storm
Great match, but no sooner does Storm have the belt in his hand than Bobby Lashley comes out with both of his belts. We’ll find out what he wants after this commercial break!
We’re back, and the best segment from this coming weekend’s Stu & Pid Show is about to start. Lashley says he’s not out here to fight him, at least not yet. He’s just here to congratulate him. Storm shakes his hand, and Lashley says they have these belts because they beat people. Storm likes that one Lashley has around his waist, and it’s been five years since he won that title and had a huge party, and the guy he beat for that title was an Olympic gold medalist, and he beat him in under a minute. Lashley was just an NCAA Champion, and Storm can probably beat him in under thirty seconds. LAshley says here Storm goes writing checks with his mouth that his ass can’t catch. He knows he intimidates Storm because there isn’t a wrestler in this business who is even close to him. He came here to collect every title, and Storm has something that he wants. Storm says Lashley has something he wants, and he respects Lashley, but he fears no man. He’s sure Lashley’s fists are going to be sore the day after they wrestle from punching him in the face, but his foot will be sore from kicking Lashley’s teeth down his throat. Lashley says Storm doesn’t have to be scare of him, because brave people get their ass whipped every day. Storm’s going to give him the same gamble he gave Eddie Edwards: Storm’s title against his title, but he’ll give Storm a choice where he can either hand Storm his title now, or get his ass kicked. He asks Storm what it’s gonna be, and Storm looks him dead in the eye and says that respect just went out the window because he likes ass wghippings. Storm drops the mic and walks off, and Lashley says he’s gonna wish he didn’t make that decision because he’s gonna hurt him real bad. Great promo, and Storm seemed like a World Title-caliber guy for the first time in years.
Allie is backstage with Gail when Maria walks in and tells her to stop thinking, then she tells Gail it doesn’t matter who she’s facing tonight because she’s never going to win that title again. Allie says NEVERNEVERNEVERNEVERNEVER, and Maria yells “ENOUGH!” and says that Gail is facing Allie tonight.
We’re back on Rosemary’s farm, and they’re in the BARN OF DOOM. Bram says it’s getting late and they should be heading back so he can drink some beer or watch football, but Rosemary begs him not to go, and promises she’ll tell him because she’s waited her whole life to tell someone this. We cut away before she does though. Oh, the suspense!
Gail Kim vs Allie
Allie almost makes it to the ring when Maria comes out to the top of the ramp and says she forgot to mention this is a handicap match, and her other opponent is coming out now, and it’s…Sienna!
Gail Kim vs Allie & Sienna
Sienna stomps Gail out, then tags Allie in and teaches her how to stomp Gail. Allie enjoys it, but takes too long and Gail starts fighting back, so Sienna tags back in and hammers Gail back down. Allie squeaks on the apron until Sienna tags her in, and Allie goes for a bodyslam, but can’t hold her weight and collapses. Sienna drags Allie to the corner and tags herself in, then proceeds to unload on Gail with hard shots and a charging splash in the corner. Allie tags in and misses a corner charge, and a double clothesline puts both girls down. Gail mounts a comeback and hits Eat DaFeet, but Sienna comes in and hits the AK-47. Allie covers, but Gail kicks out, knocks Sienna to the floor, and hits Eat DaFeet on Allie for the win.
Winner: Gail Kim
Good match! Looking forward to the Gail-Sienna rematch, and as always, Allie made the segment.
Matt Hardy is backstage and says that they won the tag title here and solved the Rubik’s Cube of professional wrestling, but then Jeff got himself hurt, cost them the title, cost him money, and damaged his net worth. He’s going out to the ring now to tell a story of what comes next!
Just announced: James Storm will battle Bobby Lashley next week in a title vs title match!
Reby Sky comes out to the top of the ramp and tells everyone to welcome the man who is better BROKEN than any of them could ever be while whole…Matt Hardy! Tonight, we learn the genesis of the Brother Nero Story! He tells Reby to bring his obsolete mule to the ring, and Brother Nero does the March of Obsolete to the ring with Reby in tow as always. Matt tells Brother Nero he knew he’d come, and says that last week, he embarrassed the Hardy brand by assisting the vision of Ethan Carter in the Bound For Glory Playoffs. He’s been tarnishing the Hardy brand for years, they were the most exciting tag team in history, and everyone always loved him more because he was nothing more than a risk taker who would jump from any height, a spot monkey, it’s sickening because he only came to TNA to win the World Tag Team Title with him. Once they did, he intentionally and selfishly injured himself and betrayed him. Then he tried to win the TNA World Title and he betrayed him AGAIN. Nero took so much money out of his pocket, but tonight he’ll put it back in his pocket by embarking on an odyssey and winning the TNA World Tag Team Title they never rightfully lost, and he’ll do it by himself. He’s banned from jumping off the top rope, too. Matt asks Senor Ryder to send a licensed official to the ring, and a couple of young prospects.
Brother Nero vs Chuck Taylor & JT Dunn
Matt and Reby powder out to ringside and Matt continues to do commentary while Jeff battles JT Dunn and hammers him down in the corner. Matt insists to the fans chanting for Brother Nero that there is no such man as Jeff Hardy. Dunn and Taylor get an advantage, so Matt pulls a “fan” over the rail and bits him until he draws blood. Matt continues harassing Nero on the mic as Hardy makes a comeback. Dunn superkicks Jeff and nearly gets the win, and Matt tells the obsolete mule that he better not lose. Jeff SPIKES Dunn with the Twist of Fate and goes to the top, but Matt comes in to stop him from hitting the Swanton. Nero does it anyway, so Matt gives Jeff a Twist of Fate, and the referee does nothing even though he just watched blatant outside interference. Matt tags himself in, the referee counts it, and Matt covers Dunn for the win. Okay.
Winners: Matt Hardy & Brother Nero
Stupid officiating aside, interesting storytelling. Borash says Matt and Jeff Hardy are the winners, but Matt grabs the mic out of his hand and says the winner is Matt Hardy and an obsolete mule, and tells Borash not to defy him AGIN.
We look back at all the times the Tribunal has beaten up Grado and Mahabali Shera the last few weeks, and then Al Snow is backstage firing his boys up and getting them ready.
Grado & Mahabali Shera vs The Tribunal & Al Snow
Things fall the Tribunal’s way pretty early on here, and Grado gets caught in the wrong part of town and gets worked over pretty good. Grado gets one of the Tribunal guys in a small package, but Shera distracts the referee by trying to get in the ring and the referee doesn’t see. Grado finally makes the hot tag, and Shera comes in to take on all three opponents. He tears through everybody, then Grado comes in to help out. Snow tries to hit Shera with some knucks, but Shera catches his fist, hits a sky high, and gets the win.
Winners: Grado & Mahabali Shera
They start dancing, and I solemnly hope Shera finally gets his damn money.
We see Rosemary flipping out in the woods, raging over that bastard Johnny. WHAT DID HE DO??? Find out…AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL!
Okay, back to Rosemary, who finally reveals that back on that fateful day, the day she thought would be their anniversary for years to come, the day she prepared to give him the card she made with all of her heart, Johnny violated her trust by…PUTTING HIS HAND ON HER KNEE. Rosemary lost it, she couldn’t believe what Johnny had done, and she started mixing potions and casting spells to show Johnny that Rosemary wasn’t like all the other girls. Bram couldn’t care less, and he tries to leave, but Rosemary begs him to stay. He says everyone’s had their heart broken and to get over it, so Rosemary flips out, starts shrieking, and comes after him with a shovel. Bram backs off, right into a window that Crazzy Steve pops out of and chokes Bram out while Abyss is in the bushes laughing at them. They drag Bram out of the barn, shove him in the trunk of a BMW, and speed away, laughing the whole way.
We see a video package looking at EC3’s history in the Bound For Glory Playoffs, and EC3 says he;’s guaranteeing victory tonight.
We get another infomercial of The Fixer, Tyrus! He don’t take credit cards, you know!
Got no cash? Don’t worry, because it’s…MAIN EVENT TIME!
Bound For Glory Playoffs – Finals: Ethan Carter III vs Mike Bennett
EC3 is still tender from the beating he took before, and Bennett goes right to his injured ribs. EC3 comes back with a shoulderblock and some hard chops, but Bennett hits a knee to the ribs that puts EC3 right back down on the mat. Bennett whips EC3 hard into the corner and connects with a boot to the face for 2. EC3 hits a clothesline and press slams Bennett (!), but goes for a big splash and lands right on Bennett’s raised knees. Bennett whips EC3 hard into the corner, and EC3 collapses to the mat as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and Bennett’s got EC3 in a bearhug, then flapjacks him after he breaks free and covers for 2. Bennett gets an abdominal stretch and gets the ropes, EC3 gets free and they wipe each other out with a double crossbody, and both men are down. They trade blows in the middle of the ring, EC3 gets the advantage, but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and Bennett hits rolling German suplexes, but EC3 fights his way out of the waistlock and turns Bennett inside out with a release German suplex. EC3 flapjacks Bennett and goes for the 1%, Bennett shoves EC3 off, EC3 sunset flips Bennett, lifts him up, and hits a sitout powerbomb for 2. Bennett escapes a TK3, but EC3 hits a Russian legsweep into the corner and goes up top. Bennett goes up and hits a top rope Ace Crusher and covers for 2. Maria gets a kendo stick from under the ring and tries sliding it into the ring, but the referee steps on the stick, then goes out to the floor and ejects Maria…while leaving the stick right where it was on the mat. Come on, we can be a little less obvious than that. A parade of referees drags Maria away from ringside, EC3 hits the 1%, but the referee takes too long getting back to the ring and Bennett kicks out at 2. Moose comes to ringside, but Eddie Edwards runs down to ringside and takes Moose out with a dive. Moose DESTROYS Edwards and they fight into the crowd, and Bennett gets the kendo stick, nails EC3 in the ribs, and hits the MIP…but EC3 kicks out at 2. Bennett goes for the 1%, EC3 shoves him off and gets a cobra clutch, Bennett kicks off the top turnbuckle and rolls over EC3, but this time it only gets 2. They fight over finishers, but EC3 hits the 1% and covers for the win.
Winner: Ethan Carter III
I really thought Bennett was winning this one. All good, EC3 wins the tournament and will now go on to Bound for Glory to challenge either Bobby Lashley or James Storm for the TNA World Title.
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